Thursday, January 18, 2018

In which the pond maintains the rage about the reptile day of Oz ...



The pond has been reminded in recent days of the way that shitty convicts, the dregs of England, were salvaged from the hulks, and shipped to a shithouse country (shithole if you will) at the arse end of the known world, and were confronted by an alien land, so foreign and strange that it took years for artists' eyes to adjust and render the light and gum trees in an evocative way ...

Instead they tried to turn the place into a replica of Pomstralia ...

 

(here for that discussion).

There being an acute crisis and shortage of first eleven reptile loons confronting the pond, the pond looked down past the mean Dean and noted an attempt by the reptiles to keep the Australia Day emergency in the public spotlight ...


What a disappointment it was ...


Well that's a trick question of the Alice kind ... but it's easy enough to answer. 

It's because shitty convicts came to a shithouse country (shithole if you will) to set up a colony ... even worse, it's well known that perhaps some ten per cent of this lowlife had Irish connections from the get go ...

There you go, once again the Irish ruining everything ...

And then this Claire dares to mock the rhetoric of the reptiles about the 'leets, as if she's just ducked in to the bunker from picking up a latte in Surry Hills ..

Oh okay, being the HUN, maybe she's had to duck out to Southbank to get her faux coffee with her social justice warrior views ...


As if this sort of tolerance fools the pond, or the HUN or Terror readers, trained to salivate at the thought of someone who dares to enjoy a coffee or a glass of wine, the filthy wretched perverts ...


Naturally, the readership, trained by the Bolter, reacted with indignant fury ...


Good on you dodger Roger, a rational response if the pond has ever seen one. The pond's never heard of you, but loves its loons, and there were plenty more out and about squawking, with Kris thinking of the gays and David mounting a series of significant arguments ...


Now it will be remembered that Claire dared to wonder how many Australians knew what the day was designed to mark ... you know, shitty convicts arriving in chains to a shithouse (or shithole if you will) country ... completely against the Donald's immigration policies ...


Indeed, there's nothing like an ancient Chinese solution, and didn't that work out well when the Manchus came marching down from the north ...

And reading Davo in his enormous ignorance, the pond did begin to wonder a little. 

You see Davo, in his sublime hysterically historical response to Claire, wrote that all Australia's poets are/were/have been white males.

So much for poor old Judith Wright, "Nugget" Coombs lover, with a Queensland seat named after her, and sundry other honours ...

The pond always had a soft spot for Wright, not least because the ghosts of the Wrights infested the UNE, and Wright College and so on ...

And Wright wrote of things the pond had experienced, such as having a metho drinker in the family ...


Go on, ignorant Davo, take a look, there's a goodly range of Wright poems here ... you useless fuckwitted patriarch you ...

Go wash out your mouth with soap, as you fester in your shitty sense of history ...

But enough of that, because truth to tell, changing Australia Day would be as laborious and as long-running a campaign as gay marriage, or rolling out decent broadband, and the pond can't help but notice, how as Australia Day approaches, Malware remains intransigent in his desire to fuck the country ...


All those stories are easy to google - Paul Budde had a field day advising anyone who'd listen of his deep disappointment - but the pond decided to celebrate by dipping into the lizard Oz.

You see, the reptiles are still discovering that they got what they wished for, a third rate broadband which will require endless fixes and much maintenance, while delivering below par performance ... and a government still determined to sulk and maintain the copper love ...


Never mind the end user. It's cheaper and faster to roll out a third rate half-baked service, so that's what we'll get, in much the same way that Fawlty Towers is at its best when there are no actual guests on the premises ...

Malware's ego is so wrapped up in his gigantic set of errors that no change will be possible while he's at the helm.

This is what the incessant yapping of the lizard Oz commentariat and the Murdochians has produced ...


Okay, that cartoon doesn't have much to do with the NBN, but the pond loves that portrait of the Bolter ... it seems he's a universal meme ...


It's a nonsense of course. The ISPs are very quick to blame the NBN, and the NBN hides behind the ISPs, and is impossible to reach, and so we have the perfect situation for duck-shoving, evasion, avoidance and off-loading ...

But there will come a reckoning, at least for Malware, and in the interim, this lazy day for the pond, there will come a few more cartoons ...




7 comments:

  1. Oodgeroo Noonuccal (et al)

    3rd of March (1986)

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Americanised acronym FttC (Fibre to the Curb) should really be translated as FttK (Fibre to the Kerb) in Australian usage.

    I’m guessing it wasn’t changed because FttK looks too much like F**K and could be taken the wrong way by us hapless Fraudband customers.

    I can imagine some letterheaded junk mail proclaiming "Congratulations! Your street will soon be linked to the NBN by way of a FttK connection".

    Something like a WTF**K connection would be more appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Good point, Kez - I was also wondering about "curb", but thought that since that means to check or restrain, perhaps it was a reference to limited download speeds.

    But two dates appear obvious contenders to me, begin vaguely analogous to the American 4th of July (the start, not the finish of the process) - March 17th (1898), when the final draft of the Bill creating Australia was agreed by the Third Session in Melbourne, or July 9th (1900), when the Bill received Royal Assent.

    They may be rather dry, but they were more important in establishing this thing called Australia than the First Fleet arriving on Sydney Day was. Personally I would lean more to the former - it was a domestic event rather than foreign, and more importantly, who's going to barbecue lamb and play street cricket in July, FFS?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Might have to move easter

      Delete
    2. Just make it the next full moon after the current one. I'm sure Jesus wouldn't mind.

      Delete
    3. The earliest Easter Sunday can fall is March 22nd (and that only once every 400 years or so), which would make March 17th the Tuesday before Easter, a day of no liturgical significance as far as I know (I was raised Catholic, where ignorance is bliss, so I could be wrong on that point).

      Of marginally more consequence, its St Patrick's Day, but Guinness goes great with lamb, so fuggit, I say.

      Delete

Comments older than two days are moderated and there will be a delay in publishing them.