Tuesday, March 06, 2018

In which Dame Slap and the Oreo trade off on Oscar ...


What to with facilitators and enablers?

If the reptiles had any sense, they'd join the pond in avoiding Q and A, a show designed to generate ratings heat, and very little light …

But instead they use it as a way of keeping the soap opera bubbling along … when according to other reports, even the panellists wanted to move along, and were well over it (the pond doesn't know, it wasn't there at the time) …


Now the quest for the real father begins?

The damage has been done, it's time to let it go, and yet the pond knew the moment it had those idle thoughts, Dame Slap would insist on tromping through the classroom, raging wildly and flourishing her cane, and incidentally trading off on the Oscars ® (™) …


Was it necessary to cop another dose of righteous Dame Slap anger? 

Of course not, but it's what the pond does, and it must stick with the reptiles, even in their playful desire to get into the gutter and romp amongst the mud …



That's it? Politics is Hollywood for ugly people? That's the only excuse for the Krygsman illustration? 

Does that mean Steve and Jack should have gone into politics instead of fine acting careers?

 

Never mind, let's persist with the notion that once the reptiles had a taste for blood, they'd simply be happy and call off the hounds, and not one of them would mind not being at the feast of the carrion …

It's a rich delusion, especially with Sharri hovering on high, but the pond will go with it …if only so the pond can relive that gorgeous moment of the "weatherboard nine" ...


Around this point, the pond felt like asking the Dame a post-modernist, post-ironic self-reflexive question. 

Did she really think she was helping people move on by this relentless poking through the vomit to see if she could discover anything of interest? Instead of just re-hashing and regurgitating the same old same old …

Not really … it's just a lot more of the same. The pond realises it's a crime to talk to Fairfax at any time, but at least Dame Slap's rage will soon be over ...


Oh dear. Imagine the indignation, imagine the outrage if anyone from the left dared go on a rant about St Ignatius. 

Polonius would be prattling about sectarianism, nattering "Ned" would be deploring the revival of the class war, the bromancer might take it as a personal slur against the onion muncher, and there's no doubt Flinty would be up in arms at reference to the Princess Diana dilemma …

And Dame Slap's ultimate insight? That Barners was just another narcissistic insider? That's news, that's an insight? The man who craved Gina's attention and took that very large cheque and flew off to India for the wedding was just a narcissist … and an upstart wannabe just wanting to enjoy some of the la dolce vita, like any lover of Fellini stuck in Tamworth?

By golly, when is Dame Slap going to walk back the donning of the MAGA cap and the walking into the New York night to celebrate the arrival of the Donald and all the narcissist hustler bankrupt baggage he brought with him?

Never mind, speaking of trading off, the pond has just enough time to cover the Caterist substitute for the day, though it's not sure of what exactly is being offered. Is it an American spring, or more Oreo spam?

 

About the only amusing thing to arise from the Oscars was the idea of an "inclusion writer"… up there with the "weatherboard nine" ...


But will the Oreo actually explain what an "inclusion rider" might actually involve? 

Not really … for that you're probably better off going to the BBC here

The best that can be said about the Oreo is that it's short, though it's full of the usual monstrous stupidity, not least a call for movies to offer "beauty" and "stunning vistas" … and the bizarre notion that politically correct casting killed off the Star Wars and Ghostbusters franchises … at the very same time that the Black Panther movie is setting the box office alight, while last year, inexplicable to the pond, Wonder Woman lit up the box office, with the Mojo here

Oh sure some were disappointed with the $822m worldwide, and they can send 1% to the pond, and everyone will be happy ...

It's just as well Oreo isn't in the business of green lighting anything, because she really doesn't have a clue … but at least it's short …

Say what? Hard work, discipline and gratitude? What, like scribbling nonsense for the lizard Oz and offering a few mindless thoughts from the shallow end of the pool trading off on Hollywood glitz and glamour?

And there was the pond thinking that all it took was reading a few grand works on the syllabi of many great universities … though what they might be must remain a mystery for the moment …

… because if anyone tries googling it, all they'll do is turn up something like this


What a treat it is to leave Hollywood, Barners, soap operas, Dame Slap, and the Oreo treat behind, and turn to a cartoonist offering an award for a genuinely interesting movie, with more papal advice available in abundance here



And now for anyone who wants some industry gags, have you tried Pat Hobby, though some ancient browsers might deem the adelaide.edu. au site unsafe …

It's not and there's a chance to boil some Oreos, lots of them … and spoiler alert, with the beginning and end of one story as a sample …



Why bother with the reptiles when the pond could have an interesting life?

The pond has no idea, just boil some water, lots of it ...




4 comments:

  1. D. Snap: "...Joyce has outed himself as very different to what many Australians may have thought of him."

    DP: "And Dame Slap's ultimate insight? That Barners was just another narcissistic insider? That's news, that's an insight?"

    Ok, I'll bite: given that Barners has never hidden himself away, why has it taken almost everybody (except thee and me, and maybe a few hundred, or maybe thousands, of other loonponders) so effing long to see the bleedin' bloody obvious ?

    I have the same question about Trump and Rudd and the Onion Muncher and Maladroit Trumble and ... and, well, a cast of thousands, really (though I'll give Gillard a mulligan at this stage).

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    Replies
    1. I've noticed that people seem to make excuses for idiots. They like to think they have some sort of scheme, a conspiracy, spin, diversion or whatever rather than just a simple a simple cock-up. They reason that these people have achieved high office, Rhodes Scholars, captains of industry and much more - surely they are not just being stupid? But again and again, at the end of the day, all you get is stupidity.

      I guess to the truth doesn't make for good copy - "self entitled man (generally men) doesn't understand that he may be held accountable this time"

      Delete
    2. On some days, Bef, I'm not sure they even know what 'accountable' means. It's seldom actually applied in real life - eg what does 'accountable' mean to Barnaby in this little adventure ? Trumble ? Michaelia Cash ?

      Delete
  2. One of top ten smartest people i used to know... committed suicide. He didn't drink the cool aid.

    ReplyDelete

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