In which the pond is blessed by an alien visitation of the reptile overlord ...

Forgive the pond, but it just wanted to set the mood in a right, proper and fitting way …

For weeks the reptiles have kept the Oz editorialist behind the paywall, but such is the impending delight of the 30th birthday, they let the paywall drop …

Sure it would have been nice to let the organ go on a bit more, or perhaps do the whole of the Strauss (though the pond isn't a big fan of the rest of the piece), but at least respect has been paid …as the reptiles agonise over the really useless way they've helped ruin Australian politics by making it poll-driven, and trivialising it into a personality cult …

Sssh, best to blame Malware for that ...

Oh fucketty fuck, not that old saw … "this newspaper has always supported Australia doing its fair share, in concern with others under international consensus, to reduce carbon emissions."

It's the home of climate denialists and denialism, from Moorice to the dog botherer to Bjorn to Dame Slap to any passing loon of the sort of lordish Monckton kind … and it's been that way since as long as the pond's been blogging.

It's the Scott Pruitt of Australian journalism.

And sure enough even that pompous bit of nonsense was immediately followed by the usual "butt Billy goat butt" routine, as if there's always a but …

Do they expect the pond to just gaily accept and traipse over the bridge?

Never mind, go on with the rest of it, the pond feels ever so grateful to be in your buttish presence ...

And get cracking they did, because they sent out the bouffant one to remind everyone that polls don't matter and indeed might be totally irrelevant, unless you happen to build a business model out of it ...

The pond doesn't know which is funnier … the reptiles' poll remorse, or the attempt to pump up a rabble of feuding power mongers, backbiting, undermining, sniping and wrecking each other, and barely paying attention to anything that matters …

And what do you know, even as the bouffant one tries to pour oil on troubled waters, he can't help but talk of insurrection and perhaps annihilation during the winter break, when the spilled blood will freeze in the mud ...

This humble rag, with a tree killer readership as small as the customers than turn up at corner stores, is as good a reason as any as to why the Liberals are in disarray. All that fawning over and attention to a politician who should have gracefully exited and headed off to London where he might have felt truly at home is now coming home to roost, that and the poll-driven mania the reptiles have used to regularly boost their slack Monday circulation ...

Did the pond begin by looking at the stars?

By journey's end, it had joined Moir in looking at the mud (with a chance to sign up to Moir's humble crowd funding here …)