Wednesday, April 11, 2018

In which the pond is waiting for "Ned" to natter ...


Relax, that's just a bait and switch cartoon. 

The pond has, thanks to the lizards of Oz, arranged a stunning programming of stupefying navel-gazing and fluff-gathering for its morning outing …

The pond remains captivated by the stormy weather abroad, and is now into the final episode of Wild Wild Country, which is just as well, because on the way there the pond accidentally stumbled across The Drum last night and discovered it was being hosted by the oscillating fan, with Caroline Overington on the panel …

It really, truly is their ABC … and to celebrate,  the pond reluctantly returned to the domestic civil war. Drum roll, maestro, it will be a slow build …

Yesterday, while the pond was out and about, the onion muncher, following on the belligerent Barners, came out swinging, and naturally the reptiles immediately stood to attention …

  

Wonderful stuff, as Barners and the onion muncher and assorted others in the cracker barrel go about the business of making sure that it's absolutely not crystal clear what the government stands for, apart from a confused bunch of loons shouting at and haranguing each other about coal … and hapless Malware pretending that somehow he's in control ...


And then just to prove he was out of control, Malware turned up again to claim that he was truly, rooly in control …


And the result?

Well the reptiles reminded their readers that actually everyone wants the top job, except maybe the Bishop, a sure sign that she really does want to be the first female pope down under …

Now there's nothing new in any of this, the point about constant repetition is the same scientific process that leads to exfoliation and the breaking down of rocks … or marshmallows of the Malware kind …



And here's the result of all this speculation, here's where the rubber really hits the road ...

Another heart-wrenching bout of agonised hand-wringing from nattering "Ned".

The pond realises that this is an acquired taste, that hearts and minds have long been stolen by the Caterists and the Speccie mob, but the pond finds something entrancing at the sight of "Ned" sobbing into the aspidistra plant on the what-not in the hallway …



Sheesh, that's deep. It explains why "Ned" is a minority taste, up there with some of the giants of literature …



Let us not speak of the civil war at all? Oh come now, "Ned" is just warming up ...


Sometimes the pond, trying to explain the obscure appeal of "Ned" in his nattering resorts to surrealism,  expressionism, or a hearty dose of existential despair ...



Indeed, indeed, what has he said? What is he saying? Will he mention "paradigm"?

   

Some might think that this, after all, isn't Syria, it isn't even the United States, gun crazy and quickly going mad … 

At worst there'll be a few years of comrade Bill and then the land above the faraway tree will move on …

But when you're determined to be the bore in the corner hand-wringing in paradigmatic expressions of hand-wringing doom, everywhere is bleakness and despair ...


Now the pond will grant you that when someone shouts oh for fuck's sake, just get a life, it sometimes wonders why it remains addicted to reptiles of the nattering "Ned" kind …

And it's it could all have been said in a cartoon, but where's the fun in that? 

What a spoil sport that David Rowe is, and more spoiling Rowe can be found here … and remember all the best turkeys should rest on a bed of onions ...




1 comment:

  1. Joe (Kelly) and Greg (Brown): "...Peter Dutton, Josh Frydenberg, and Scott Morrison went public with their future aspirations for the top job, despite pledging their loyalty to the Prime Minister."

    Despite pledging their loyalty ? Despite ?

    I take it that these simple minded yokels have never heard of Napoleon Bonaparte: "Every private in the French army carries a field-marshal's baton in his knapsack" or "Tout soldat français porte dans sa giberne le bâton de maréchal de France" if you prefer it in the original.

    Even Julie. Sheesh, get a grip, guys.

    "[the Pond] sometimes wonders why it remains addicted to reptiles of the nattering "Ned" kind …"

    Oh, I dunno, DP: if not the cloud-whispering Natterer then who, or what or when or why ? Anyway, old Nattering Ned is surely completely addicted to himself, and, we mostly don't have lifetime enough to wait for Godot.

    ReplyDelete

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